The deep clean checklist we actually work from

Deep cleaning goes top down and finishes on the floor, because gravity does not negotiate. High dusting first: cornices, light fittings, wardrobe tops, the tops of wall units. Then appliances and detail work, which is where the dwell time sits. Then surfaces. Then floors, once nothing else is going to fall.

Getting this wrong is the most common reason a self-done deep clean feels disappointing: the floors were mopped at hour two and everything landed on them at hour four.

The longest room, because grease needs time. Racks and trays go into the dip tank first so they soak while the oven cavity is degreased and the door glass is split and cleaned. Extractor filters go into the sink at the same time.

• ▸Oven cavity, roof, sides, base and door glass
• ▸Racks, trays and runners dip-tank cleaned
• ▸Hob, burners, pan supports and knobs
• ▸Extractor canopy and filters degreased
• ▸Tops of wall units and above the fridge
• ▸Fridge and freezer shelves, drawers and seals
• ▸Washing machine drawer, seal and filter; dishwasher filter and arms
• ▸All cupboard and drawer interiors and runners
• ▸Worktops, splashback, grout, sink and taps descaled
• ▸Bin recess, under-sink and kickboards

Chemistry over force. Descaler goes on the screen, taps and toilet and is left to work while the grout is steamed. Everything is rinsed properly, because residue is what makes glass film over again within a week.

• ▸Shower screen, tiles and grout descaled and steamed
• ▸Taps, shower head and hose descaled
• ▸Bath, basin, tray, toilet bowl, rim, seat and hinges
• ▸Extractor fan cover and vent grille
• ▸Mirrors, cabinet interiors, towel rails and radiators
• ▸Floor to the edges and behind the pedestal

Bedrooms are 30 to 45 minutes each: high dusting, wardrobe tops and interiors, behind and under the bed, skirtings, frames, radiator backs, sockets and a HEPA pass over the mattress. Living rooms are 45 to 60: upholstery vacuumed under the cushions, behind and under furniture, shelving, screens, light fittings and every high-touch surface.

Hallways and stairs come near the end — carpet edges, nosings, spindles, banister rails and the front door — and floors are the last thing anyone touches, matched to their finish rather than mopped uniformly.

Clear worktops and floors where you can, so the hours go on cleaning rather than moving. Switch the fridge-freezer off the night before if you have booked the defrost. Put anything genuinely precious away. Tell us at the door which rooms matter most, and whether anyone is working from home.